Sunday, January 14, 2007

Here Come The Grooms . . .

Theo here.

Theo Savas
.

The Groom.
You know, the one who is supposed to be marrying The Santorini Bride. Martha's groom . . .

Yeah, well, tell that to her. Martha is a hard woman to pin down. Has a mind of her own, that one. She's Trouble . . . with a capital T. (And I wouldn't have it any other way, but don't tell her that. She's kept me guessing long enough.)

I thought we had
things sorted and settled. The wedding was set - and I had a race to win (it's what I do -- race sailboats, America's Cup, that sort of thing) and Martha said, "Go ahead. It will get you out of my hair while I get this wedding sorted."

So I went. And there I was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean when I kept getting bits and pieces of messages from women all over the place (which isn't exactly unusual -- ever since I named World's Sexiest Sailor in that insane magazine). But the messages didn't contain their phone numbers for a change.


No . . . everyone wanted to know what Martha's last name was!

What's that all about?

I decided I'd better find out.

I called my brother Demetrios to see if he knew. He didn't. Too busy chasing girls all over New York is our Demetrios. But he at least has a social circle. He knows people. But he didn't know why everybody wanted to know Martha's last name.

So I called my brother Yiannis. Yiannis is, if you can believe it, a forest ranger. A forest ranger who was born in Queens! He talks to trees. He lives in Montana! And he has a girlfriend. He must talk to her. But he didn't know what was happening with Martha. I kept getting more messages.

So I tried George. George is always the brother of last resort. He's a physicist, for God's sake. George has more theories about strings than about women. I'm not sure he knows women exist.
He said, "Who's Martha?"

See what I mean? So I came back. As fast as I could. I had visions of hundreds of guys trying to get Martha's last name so they could get her phone number or track her down where she was (you'll never guess!). I figured they'd put their sisters up to asking which was why the messages were from women. Guys are sneaky that way. I should know. And I wasn't letting anyone run off with My Woman.

So I get back last night and Martha isn't there. She's gone off with her bride buddies. "What bride buddies?" I wanted to know.

Seems like she's made friends with another couple of women getting married this coming month. And no one knows where they are except some authors who put them up to it.

An author! Wouldn't you know? So I go halfway across the country to hammer on Anne (McAllister -- we all know
her last name!)'s door and say, "Where's Martha? Why does everyone want to know her last name? What have you done with Martha?"

Bec
ause Anne -- and Martha -- have been making my life miserable for months and I wouldn't put it past them to make me jump through a few more hoops . . . and you know what she says?

She just smiles and says airily, "Oh, Martha and two friends of hers, Louise and Alice, are having a contest."


A contest? What the hell sort of contest?

To win your book, she told me. And Louise's and Alice's. People can send in entries telling us all three women's full names, and if their name is drawn they get a chance to win three brand-new books."

Not just one chance, either. Three. Three chances to win at Anne's websit
e and at somebody named Kate Walker's and somebody else named Liz Fielding's.

"Isn't that great?" Anne said. "Isn't a Here Come the Brides contest a good idea? You look odd, Theo? Are you all right? Do you want to sit down?"


"I want Martha," I said. "Here. Now."


"Well, you can't have her," Anne said. "Not yet. You get her at the end of the month -- when the book comes out."


"But -- "

"No. You have to be patient, Theo."

Like hell. I told her I'd been patient long enough. "It's weeks away!" I told her. "Weeks!"

"As opposed to months," she said unsympathetically. "As if you didn't make me wait around while you two argued and fought -- "

"And made up," I reminded her with a grin. But that just made me think about what I was missing!

"Sto
p it," Anne said. "Get a grip. In two weeks, you'll have your happy ending. Go run a contest of your own or something! I've done my job." And damned if she didn't shut the door!

So fine. Two weeks. Martha is off-limits for two weeks. I suppose I can go scrape barnacles off the hull or something. But running a contest sounds better.

Damn right. If Martha can run a contest, so can I. And if she can get her bridey girlfriends to run one with her, there's no reason why their grooms wouldn't run one with me.

I banged on the door again and made Anne tell me their names -- Domenico and Max -- and
I'm giving them a call when it's not the middle of the night their time (they're both on the other side of the Atlantic from me).

We'll come up with a contest that will make those brides sit up and take notice.

Watch this space!

Here come the grooms . . .

9 Comments:

Blogger christa said...

George sounds like he would be fun to write about.
Hopefully Theo is too busy thinking about a contest for the grooms to go and bug Kate and Liz about the brides.

14 January, 2007  
Blogger theosavas said...

Christa,

Don't let him fool you by making you think he'd be charming if only you could get his attention. George was out to lunch when they passed out charm. Also savoir faire. Also ability to connect to the real world.

Trust me, I know. I've been getting George through life -- real life -- for years.

Hey, maybe we could give George away in the contest. Would anyone take him?

Theo

14 January, 2007  
Blogger Anne McAllister said...

Christa,

I agree. George does sound like fun. And different.

Theo, shut up. Just go run your contest and leave George out of it!

Anne

14 January, 2007  
Blogger christa said...

Theo
George might surprise you.
How did you get acess to Anne's blog?

14 January, 2007  
Blogger theosavas said...

Christa,

George is one big surprise. Or he was. Now I don't think there is anything left he can do that would surprise me. After all, I grew up with him. Remember?

As for getting access to Anne's blog, she invited me. Regardless of what she says, I did NOT bully her into it.

And if I sat down on the steps and said I wasn't leaving until she told me where Martha was, and THEN she said, "Oh for heaven's sake, go write a blog or something," that does not constitute bullying.

Anyway, she invited me -- and here I am -- and I'm working on this contest.

Would YOU enter a contest if George was the prize? The thought makes me shudder.

14 January, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neat trick getting past the gatekeeper, Theo. I'm working on it at my end.

I've talked to Dom and between the three of us we should be able to come up with something a bit special by way of a competition -- just to let our darling brides know that we're not only thinking of them, but we're their match in every way!

Max

15 January, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PS George as the prize? Well, women are crazy at times. And it would get him out of your hair...

Max (off to doorstep Liz)

15 January, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey guys - what is this?
This is the third time I've tried to keep Alicia in my life - the first time she ran off - then I was supposed ot marry her but . . . Well, they'll have to read the book to find out . .
Now you tell me she's off planning something with these other signorinas?

Well - we'll see about that. Luckily I will have no trouble getting past my author - as an Italian, I know how to charm . . .she will be - what is it you say? Putty on my hands?

I will soon be like you Theo - on her blog and telling the world what has happened.

And we will come up with uno concorso meraviglioso that will show lei nostre fidanzate just how men do these things!

Domenico

15 January, 2007  
Blogger christa said...

Theo, Max and Domenico
I'm sure the brides are just bonding. They are all going to be brides in February and marrying great guys. I think they just needed some girl-time. And they want to share the stories with everyone.

BTW, Theo does George do windows? If you want to convince us to want him as a prize, you have to talk him up.

16 January, 2007  

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