The Trouble With Charley

My editor is going to love Charley -- if I don't kill him first.

Why? Because she's always telling me I should write faster, get books out more often, etc etc etc.

But that means, what? Spending more time at the computer. Working my fingers to the nub. Not to mention my brain.

I have resisted. The well of inspiration is not a gusher around here. It's generally more of a slow steady trickle -- with occasional plugs.

That was all pre-Charley.

Charley, I suspect, has ADD or ADHD or one of those acronymns that I can never get right but that means he has the attention span of, say, a chicken.

Rooster, Charley says. Attention span of a rooster.

Yes, well, whatever you want to call it, Charley needs to be kept busy. Left to his own devices, he does not stay on task.

He is easily distractable -- especially by anything with a keyboard wearing pink, red or purple.

While I'm pausing for thought, trying to figure out which Greek saint's feast day we're going to be celebrating in chapter seven and trying to use the internet to find it out, Charley won't wait.

He is busy making notes in his little black book about which girly laptop he wants to ring next.

I didn't even know he had a little black book.

Everyone has a little black book, he told me. Only now they call it an address file. Liz Fielding's sexy "Liz Machine" is in it now, and Kate Walker's new RED Dell Mini may be next.

More trouble is brewing on the horizon, too, because Kate Hardy is expecting a new laptop whom she intends to call Seb. He has already asked Charley if he wants to go out trolling for chicks!

I hope Kate gives Seb a few rules before she unleashes him on his peer group. I'm thinking Charley may need a curfew and it won't help if Seb can come in any time he wants.

I'm not sure Kate mentioned if Seb was another of those sleek black laptops like Charley. I'm just hoping he's not that Lamborghini yellow one Charley spotted this morning. I don't need him having a case of laptop cover envy.

The only way I've found of handling these energy bursts of Charley's is to make him work. He finished chapter six this morning and is working his way through chapter seven.

I tried to stop there and think a bit about the next scene, but Charley didn't want to quit.

Once he's on a roll, he won't settle down. He just wants to keep writing and writing and writing (which is why my editor will love him).

When I say I need a break or to go to the grocery store or think about where the story goes next, he starts prowling the internet looking for new girlfriends.

I suggested yanking out his wireless card. It's what I used to have to do with Old Wonky when he either spun his hourglass forever or got seriously overheated. But it won't work with Charley. His wireless card is built-in.

I'm thinking he needs some games to play. Got any suggestions? I'm not sure he's a spider solitaire kind of guy. He might need something a bit more, er, action oriented than that.

Something with guns and spies and going undercover, Charley says. And girls with keyboards (goes without saying). Ideas welcome.

In the meantime, I know what I'm going to do with him tonight. I'm going to send him downstairs at 8:00 to watch the premiere of the third season of Burn Notice.

Only problem there is that I won't be upstairs thinking. I'll be downstairs, too, watching it with him.