Anne . . . flattened

Hey. PJ here.

Anne says to tell you she's been flattened by a bus. Or it feels that way.

She was up all night with Christo and Natalie and she's gone to bed with Burn Notice and isn't coming out until either Christo and Natalie come back for more revisions or she's seen all of Burn Notice or I run out of things to say.

She's hoping for the second alternative, praying like mad that Christo and Natalie stay gone (though by 7 a.m. this morning she could be heard muttering, I think it tracks. I think it tracks. I think it tracks. But how would I know?) .

Christo says it tracks and he got to spend a lot of time in the bedroom, so he's happy. Natalie says it tracks and they got a happily ever after so she's happy. And she just poked Christo and he said he's happy about that, too. And from the look of him -- a little tattered around the edges, but definitely grinning -- he's telling the truth.

Anne figures Burn Notice will be a nice distraction. And she's sure I have plenty to say -- especially since I've seen that Nick "prop me up on an altar and give me a bottle of booze" Jago is making crap out of me and Santos on Liz's website.

I would defend my honor -- and the marriage I've had to put out of my head -- but Jago is so far off the mark that I can't even dignify his comments.

As Santos is on the same island at least, I'm going to let him take care of things for both of us!

Just let me say that he's darned lucky to find a woman like Manda who will put up with him. And since he's saying things like "cancel the honeymoon" -- though God knows what he means -- I want Manda to know I've got a kid brother, Lukas, who might be just the man she's looking for. Truly.

If you get fed up with Jago, Manda, give me a shout. I'll muster up Lukas and introduce you.

Aside to Liz: how did you put up with him?

Don't forget, people, if you want copies of Santos's book and mine -- and the one where Jago is an idiot -- answer the questions in the Here Come the Grooms contest piece. Send your answers to Anne and Liz and Kate by January 21.

You'll be glad you did.